- It was a cold night in downtown San Jose. You were dressed in black. Alone on the dark street corner. It was late. You were my age. I smile, you start crying. I put my arm around you. You were shivering, not just from the cold. I try to keep a normal conversation. I fail. You avoid looking at me. All the while my heart is blowing up. My brain is freaking out, because I think of my life, my dreams, goals, prayers hanging by a thread,.. I know you have the same emotions,dreams,years ahead of you..because that's what us girls do best right? Dream. You told me you would be up until morning. Then you look me in the eyes and said, ''I haven't had any customers tonight?" My heart went numb. It was not a statement. You were not trying to justify yourself. You were asking me a question. It was a question so full of meaning, pain.... Your heart was screaming. '' Am I really not worth it!? Does my life even matter? Am I this invisible?".... I tightened my arm around You. I gave you a phone number. I asked you to please call. I walked away. I looked back and smiled at you one last time . You were so young. And by the look in your eyes. Your eyes. You have big beautiful eyes. But until later I understood what was different about them.... I new it hurt. Pain that I don't begin to understand. Your eyes didn't shine anymore. Your eyes still keep me awake at night. Every girls eyes should shine.
- Dear barefoot girl from the red light district. You couldn't take your eyes off of me. You couldn't figure me out. You were smelling glue out of a Coca Cola bottle. I saw it go over your face when the drug hit. You were still looking at me, but didn't really see me anymore. I don't know if you remember, but you started screaming. I think you were having a flash-back, although at the time I didn't realize it, or know how to help you. You were so scared. All I knew to do was stand with you. And then I became the barefoot girl for a few hours. You walked away wearing my sandals. I wondered if you would remember me... You did, a few months later. Only it wasn't me, but my sister. You came running up to her saying. "You're the girl who gave me your sandals." Through my sister I found out that you work in one of the lowest brothels. I'm sorry... But I'm glad you remembered me. I hope someday we can be friends. - Little girl with the Afro. I saw you across the park. You are so young. You have big beautiful eyes. A beautiful name..You laughed a lot. But we all have our ways of putting on a facade . We all have our talent that hides our insecurities. But your eyes, were full of pain. Longing. Broken dreams..... I wish I could have talked to you more then just a few minuets. Your body told a lot of your story. Your arms have tiny scars from your wrist up to your elbow... I wish you knew that scars can become a masterpiece. That scars don't define who we are. That they can make us beautiful. That you are not what has happened to you. That you are more then the pain you feel inside. That you are seen. That you are worth more then what the world asks of you. I pray you meet the one who can heal your deepest scars. You are beautiful...And beautiful, you don't have to prove it. - You were sixteen at the time, and five months pregnant. Selling drugs. You're quiet, but not shy. When I came and sat with you in the dome..It was like you knew me for a long time. When I ask you if you knew what you would name the baby, you were surprised. You didn't expect me to think of your child. You only expected me to notice your belly, age,... You told me you were not living at home anymore. I know you were trying to be tough...But I also know that no matter how tough we appear to others, we each need a hug at times. . I'm sure you are an amazing mama. And I hope that someday you can be held by your own mama again. - To the beautiful Girl who changed my life forever. The first time I saw you, you were on a high. We were walking in different directions.. But something inside of me knew I would never forget you.. I prayed I could get the chance to talk to you. I did. That afternoon God answered my prayer. You came running up to us for a piece of Pizza. Girl, you were so hungry...You didn't realize it, but your story changed the coarse of our future. Over the next few months we got to know each other more. You always came running. I will never forget the day we were sitting on a park bench. You were crying, your tears were dripping down onto my feet...The last time I saw you, you were going to have a baby. You were looking for a way out. You were dreaming of a better future... I wish you knew how much you impacted my life. Our lives. That I was proud to call you my friend. That your tears were seen in heaven.. You quoted, '' I have slept with hundreds of men, but I do not know the meaning of true love."... I pray you find true love. - Me. I haven't been sexually exploited. I haven't been fiscally abused, most people would say I have a really great life. But we all have a past. A story. We all know pain. I believe that sometime in her life, every girl is faced with broken dreams. The feeling of worthlessness. Insecurity.... This is coming from a girl who through most of her teen years hid her struggle with anorexia and depression behind a smile. Because I didn't feel good enough. I didn't love me. And we live in an era that isn't easy. The world has put women in the spot light. We are labeled as cheep. Cheep sexuality has become part of the '' norm. '' .... And in all honesty, no girl can live up to the adds and pictures that we see everyday. We can't live up to it, And blast! Its okay. We were created for more. A while back I was asked a few questions: - " What is the most attractive thing about a man?" - "Is it true that girls are more attracted to a man that makes them feel safe, then by a man who offers them everything to the moon and back? '' Lately I was at a six week seminar on Human Trafficking. Someone quoted: '' The sexiest thing about a man is his ability to make a girl feel safe. '' I think all 30+ girls agreed. - '' Words are weak instruments of love.... People need to be shown, not told.'' - Blessed Child YOU Girl...I don't know the story behind your scars. But I do know that you are more then your profile picture. You are more then the 'likes' you get on Facebook. You are more beautiful then the 50 + selfies on your phone...or is it 500 +? You are more then the number of customers you have each night. You are more then the size of your waist. You are more..... Because in the end, no one wants you to change. You are loved. Wanted. Enough. Beautiful. Your Scars do not disable you, they enable you. What people have said about you does not label you. Please don't believe the lie, that I believed for so long.... It hard. You are loved by someone who gave His life for you. - Its okay to be you. To be real. - "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." - Psalm 34:18 -" He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."- Psalm 147:3 YOU guy. You are not the problem. Sin is. I know we label you as a jerks sometimes..But, You are good enough, cool enough, strong enough, brave enough..... You don't need a six pack to impress a girl. I'm sorry that you have to live with the cheep beauty the world promotes. I'm sorry that we ladies make life rough sometimes. I'm sorry you are expected to live up to what the world expects of men. Your story matters. You matter. You are loved. In the end your scars show how far you've come. A few of the men I admire the most, are then men I have seen work through their pain. Men that are willing to wear there scars with honer. Not because they are proud of their mistakes. But because in the end, wounds only heal in the open... - Healing comes when we have grace for ourselves, and are able to forgive and admit our own mistakes. - "Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy - the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light." - Brene Brown " He moved through the days in peace and wonder,for his whole story had been told for the first time, and he found that he was still loved." - Podo Helmer - from Andrew Peterson's North or Be Eaton - '' Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars. " Kahld Gidram
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