![]() Again, everything in me is screaming for protection against being known. Right now I'm anything but tough. Amsterdam feels like a far away dream. And yet, It's showing up in everything I do. Screaming at me. Telling me I will never be strong enough. Brave enough.Good enough... But the truth is. I'm not strong enough, brave enough, or good enough. And that's really okay. "We’re no longer slaves to fear. That doesn't mean we’re emotionless now, or never face fear, it just means we don’t have to obey it." -Jeremy Riddle "Some of us hide behind our faith to flee the pain of our lives rather than trust God to transform us through it." - Peter Scazzero On the sidewalk in Amsterdam I saw my reflection in a window. I didn't realized how small I am until then. It cracked me up. I was like, '' Ken, really? What do you think you're up to? How could you make a difference...?" We were not called to live crazy lives.. We were called to believe. And yet, sometimes that's what crazy looks like. Taking steps into the unknown.... “God doesn't call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn't come through.”-Francis Chan in Crazy Love ''Jesus said, '' Everything is possible for him who believes." - Mark 9:23 ''With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.'' - Mark 10:27 ''For nothing is impossible with God.'' - Luke 1:37 Believing is one of my greatest wars. Believing that there is a plan beyond what I see. Believing that there is beauty in a world so full of darkness. Believing that no matter the outcome,..It's for good. Believing that it's the small things that are our greatest accomplishments in life. Believing that sometimes our strength lies in being still. Believing that I am worth dying for. Believing... Why can't we trust someone who already won the battle? Its not about winning anymore. Now it's about overcoming. The battle is won, but the ash and smoke are still blinding and choking us. We are now fighting for those who are wounded and being swallowed up by darkness. I thought I was tough, kinda...until I went to Amsterdam. On my own, I am nothing. I am weak. I am human, I am labeled a sinner. Shoot. I am one. I am capable of being judged, and found guilty. Cheers, we all are. At midnight I stood at the door of a brothel. Two young men came walking towards me. The look in their eyes will haunt me always. I was just a piece of flesh. Just something they thought they could pay for... The thing is, I was able to walk away. I was there by choice. I was with an amazing group of people taking coffee and cookies to the girls at the brothel. I am free. But those girls are my friends...Not all of them have the freedom to walk away like I did. Not all have the freedom of choice. The fact that I am free does not make me worth more. We are equal. We both have names. We are both loved. You are loved... more then you know. Most of us take our freedom for granted. We take so much for granted. I'm slowly realizing that the things I think I depend on the most are the ones I am most capable of living without. We've been given the gift of freedom. Embrace it. There was blood shed, don't take it for granted. Your life literally depends on it. Don't blow it. It wasn't cheap. The cool thing is, when Jesus was on the cross He wasn't just thinking about the people we label as "sinners". He wasn't just thinking of the two young men that walked up to me at that brothel. He wasn't just thinking about Pimps, drug dealers,...... He was thinking of me. He was doing it for me. When He said, '' Father forgive them..'' He was thinking of my sin. He was taking my sin upon himself. Trust me, there in nothing pretty or fun in what he received. And yet, he asked God to forgive me, because He wanted me. He knows who I am. He knows what I have done. He knows my heart, and my pain. He gets me. He knows how nasty my guilt feels... Because he took it. And he still chose to love me. He still loves me. Love is pain...its not cheap, but its worth fighting for. How can I doubt. How can I not trust 'me,....' with someone who gave me my freedom. And died so that I could live in freedom..... How can I not look past 'me.....' and give someone else hope. We are all worth fighting for. We all have a past. None of us are perfect, not even close. ...we say we are good when the truth is we all feel like we are drowning. Be real. Life is not a competition. Be you. You're amazing. You're story does not disable you, it enables you. - ''He moved through the days in peace and wonder, for his whole story had been told for the first time, and he found that he was still loved.'' - Pablo Helmer - ''Hardships often prepare ordinary people, for an extraordinary destiny." - C.S. LEWIS
0 Comments
![]() To the young man who taught me that our everyday words matter. More then we know. '' - I can't remember your name. But I hope I never forget the way your face lit up. Amsterdam was dark. Only a few stars were out. I remember, because I was lonely and the stars were the only thing that were common to me. And yet I was thankful that I was on the other side of the world, doing what I love. I also remember that I thought the lonely was worth it after I saw your face light up... I stood behind a park bench with coffee and tea set out on the bench below me. There were about 40 + men on the block that night. Homeless. It was cold and windy...Amsterdam wind is damp and strong. That night you ask for coffee. You were not happy. The truth is, you were angry at the world.You were lonely. And for most of the evening you were asking for a fight. I kept watching you because you reminded me of someone and it was driving me crazy, because I could not figure out who it was. You came back for a second cup of coffee, and then it hit me. Frodo Baggins! As I poured you your coffee, I ask you if other people told you that you look like Frodo. You rolled your eyes and said " I get it all the time.'' You tried to act like it was nothing. But your face gave it away. Your eyes shown, huge grin, your entire face split up.... you couldn't wipe it off your face the rest of the night. And you calmed down. You weren't picking on people. You weren't being loud anymore...You didn't want to leave. You were seen. Sometimes we all just need to be seen. We are all human. And we all need others to speak life into us. You probably don't remember me. But I remember you. And I wish you knew that you made an impact on someone who lives on the other side of the world. You matter cool guy. I wish I would have told you that you are not alone in this fight for life. I wish you knew that you are loved, chosen, that you are worth dyeing for. That someone loves you so much that He gave His life for you, on a cross. That this world is blasted hard. But He overcame. He is with you always. You are not alone on dark nights. And I pray that someday, your eyes will shine again.'' Your words have power. Don't hold back an opportunity to give someone the gift of being acknowledged. Start small. But don't walk away. Don't regret. This world needs you. You matter. - '' You don’t join a cause. You live in one. Every day. It doesn't have to be monumental to be worthy of our effort. It doesn't have to be labeled “big” to be worth your time. It doesn't have to be social-media-worthy for you to take a picture. Every single day you have the chance to forget about your “problems” and help the world with theirs. You can’t help humanity if you've forgotten how to be human. God’s Faithfulness in the Small Things.'' - RELEVANT Magazine - '' Travel isn't always pretty. It isn't always comfortable. Sometimes it hurts, it even breaks your heart. But that's okay. The journey changes you - it should change you. It leaves marks on your memory,on your consciousness,on your heart, and on your body. You take something with you.. Hopefully, you leave something good behind.'' - Anthony Bourdain |
Archives
September 2015
Categories |