"We want to live like strangers in this world" she said.. And I realized how often I forget my life passes as swiftly as an evening shadow. And am I really embracing this reality? Or am I blowing it? " I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." Romans 8:18 So often when I read this verse I zone it in with wealth,relationship,ministry,health,comfort,safety.... you name it. But what if there is more? What if we would live our lives really looking forward to the Glory that will be revealed in us through Christ Jesus. Because Jesus Christ is our Glory. And in Him we have enough. '' For we don't live for ourselves or die for ourselves. And if we live, it's to honor the Lord. And if we die it's to honor the Lord. So whether we live or die it's to honor the Lord.' - Romans 14: 7 I remember one day it had been raining for what seemed like months. It was the time of the year when mosquitoes are insane and everything feels damp, laundry stinks and takes up to three days to dry...I wont even go into the mud,mold,humidity, and toads. But that was not the reason I remember that day. The reason I remember is because I was confused as to why my mama hid her face in one of the damp towels and was crying. It wasn't until years later that I understood. The pineapple farm my dad was working for hadn't paid him for months. And this went on for several years. The money was there, but we seldom saw it. Then when I was twelve my brother had two seizure. If at the time you would have told me that someday I would thank God for using that present suffering, I would not have believed you. Because He is my only bro, and you have to go though his three sisters if you touched Him. Not that He isn't tough enough. I remember climbing a tree for dear life because Ryan was chasing us with a machete when he was five. I also remember the day soon after my bros first seizure, the neighbor boys were playing soccer and one of them smacked my bro on the head just for the joy of it. I ran out of the house and yelled at him on the top of my lungs. He was a few years older than I am but I still remember the look on his face. He blanched because I told him that if he did that again my brother would die. I really thought so. The month they told my parents that we would have to move to OH for a few months to do tests on my Bro at the Cleveland hospital was the same month the pineapple farm paid my dad the money they owed him. The money was enough to pay our trip, the hospital bills, buy a car, and rent a house. And then we understood. Kinda. I didn't know that our trip would changed my family's life forever. Or that we would end up staying for almost two years. Along with culture-shock we experienced heartbreak, pain, forgiveness,grace and love in a new way. And again if at that time you would have told me that I would be thankful for our present suffering, I would not have believed you. There will be situations in life that blind you with pain. But our Father he really does heal broken hearts, souls, families, relationships and loss. And in the end, it opened our eyes to the reality that we live in a dark world and we aren't home yet. That this battle called life is real and often our hardest battles are the ones few people know about.That love heals broken souls. And Broken souls hurt far more than broken bones and take more time to heal. Pain does not have to be in vain. But most of all our present suffering pointed us to glory, not because of us, but because of Jesus. - " God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world." - C.S.Lewis And then there were those two years after we moved back to Costa Rica. I don't remember a lot over that time. But I do remember having to pray often, and the prayer " Give us this day our daily bread" became a reality. Because the bank account was empty. And the money just didn't show up. Our fridge was often empty. And when I say empty, I mean literally only water. The cool deal was, we always had amazing meals. "...for your heavenly Father knows all your needs." - Mathew 6:32 It was over that time that my sister and I started going to the Park in San Jose... One of the first times at the park a young man we had never met or talked to walked up to my sister and before introducing himself said " I need you to explain forgiveness to me. I want what you have." I'm not totally sure why I'm telling you all so much about us. And for the most part I'm giving myself a speech. Vulnerability is a scary deal. But my hearts cry today is " People, we really can trust God to pull through. He really has overcome. He really did promise to take care of us. And no matter how tough life gets, He really can make what we once thought was our doom into something beautiful. It really is possible to love those who hurt us. He does have a plan for your life. And this is coming from someone who still struggles to trust the unseen. But what is unseen to us, is incredibly clear to our Creator. Don't give up on your calling. You are not alone and the world needs you. Please don't forget we are only strangers in this world...And that it will be worth it. In the end we will not remember how much money we made or how much fun it was to blow it. But I promise you that in the end you will remember seeing the way other faces lit up when you explained forgiveness to them or gave them a moment of your time, a smile or a cup of coffee, just showing up. Your presence in this dark world really does make a difference. Don't just send money to help people in need, dare to step out of your comfort zone. They need you to be present because through you, they can see Him. It wont always be easy. It isn't always easy, being thankful. There are still days when we have to pray for our next meal. There are still days when life feels to intense and pain stabs me in the back. But when our goal and purpose in life is more then just this passing shadow. We really can be thankful. Because our stories don't end with suffering.. they end in glory. Our pasts do not entangle us, they equip us. Not because we fully understand or have all the answers but because it's not about us, it's about the one who is willing to walk with us no matter how hard life beats us up. He really is a good Father. "Christianity isn’t about growing good, it’s about growing grace-filled"... The Gospel isn’t only what we believe in –– because the Gospel is ultimately what we. live. out." - Ann Voscamp. In the end, although I wont ever fully understand our past, I am thankful. Because there is no resurrection without death, No beauty without pain. - "I have found a desire within myself that no experience in this world can satisfy; the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." C.S.Lewis Lyrics 1. Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain. Leave to thy God to order and provide; In every change he faithful will remain. Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heavenly Friend Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end. 2. Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake To guide the future as he has the past. Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake; All now mysterious shall be bright at last. Be still, my soul: The waves and winds still know His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below. 3. Be still, my soul: The hour is hast'ning on When we shall be forever with the Lord, When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone, Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored. Be still, my soul: When change and tears are past, All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.
1 Comment
Dwight
12/3/2015 07:40:35 pm
Very soul searching put me on ur blog if u allow uncle to join !!p
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